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Ain't Gonna Grieve My Lord No More/I Ain't Gonna Grieve My Lord No More/Oh You Caint Go to Heaven/You Can't Get To Heaven/Ain't Going to Worry My Lord No More
Traditional Old-Time, Bluegrass Gospel and Spiritual;
ARTIST: From Mudcat Discussion Forum
YOUTUBE: Bob Dylan covers the song on his Witmark demo.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v8m6is2RB24
CATEGORY: Traditional Bluegrass Gospel Spiritual;
DATE: 1865 (public domain music); First Recorded in 1928 by Commonwealth Quartet, "I Ain't Gonna Grieve" (Conqueror 7079, 1928)
RECORDING INFO: You Can't/Caint Get to Heaven [Me III-C 49]
Leisy, James / Songs for Pickin' and Singin', Gold Medal Books, sof (1962), p150 (Ain't Gonna Grieve My Lord No More)
Lynn, Frank (ed.) / Songs for Swinging Housemothers, Fearon, Sof (1963/1961), p332 (Ain't Gonna Grieve My Lord No More)
Best, Dick & Beth (eds.) / New Song Fest Deluxe, Hansen, Sof (1971/1948), p145 (I Ain't Gonna Grieve My Lord No/Any More)
Winds of the People, Sing Out, Sof (1982), p 83 (Preacher Went Down)
Blood, Peter; and Annie Patterson (eds.) / Rise Up Singing, Sing Out, Sof (1992/1989), P 74 (Preacher Went Down)
Sandburg, Helga (ed.) / Sweet Music, Dial, Bk (1963), p137 [1960ca]
Allen, Ella Kate. Solomon, Jack & Olivia (eds.) / Sweet Bunch of Daisies, Colonial Press, Bk (1991), p 56 [1960ca] (O, You Can't Get to Heaven)
McMahon, Charles. Randolph, Vance / Ozark Folksongs. Volume II, Songs of the South and ..., Univ. of Missouri, Bk (1980/1946), p386/#300 [1928/04/03] (Oh You Can't Get to He
EARLY RECORDINGS:
Commonwealth Quartet, "I Ain't Gonna Grieve" (Conqueror 7079, 1928)
Walter "Kid" Smith & Norman Woodlief with Posey Rorer, "I Ain't Gonna' Grieve My Lord Anymore" (Champion 15812 [as by Jim Taylor and Bill Shelby]/Supertone 9494 [as by Jordan & Rupert]/Conqueror 7277, 1929)
Kentucky Coon Hunters, 1931 Louisville KY.
Canova Family 1933
OTHER NAMES: "I Ain't Gonna Grieve My Lord No More;" "Ain't Gonna Worry My Lord No More;" "You Cain't Get To Heaven"
SOURCES: Mudcat; Folk Index; Meade
REFERENCES (5 citations):
Randolph 300, "Oh You Caint Go to Heaven" (1 text)
BrownIII 549, "Ain't Goin' to Worry My Lord No More" (1 text, perhaps somewhat adapted (e.g. the second verse is "If you get there before I do... Punch a little hole and pull me through"), but too short and too similar to this to separate)
Silber-FSWB, p. 22, "Ain't Gonna Grieve My Lord No More" (1 text)
Pankake-PHCFSB, pp. 82-84, "I Ain't Gonna Grieve My Lord No More" (1 text, 1 tune -- probably composite, though the conflation may be the work of the informant rather than the Pankakes)
NOTES: "Ain't Gonna Grieve My Lord No More" is a spiritual that has been traced back to the Civil War. It appears in the Brown Collection as "Ain't Gonna Worry My Lord No More." From its revivalist roots it has become a campfire song with numerous humorous verses.
The song has been collected by numerous sources and titles in the early 1900s. Here's a spiritual type verse with chorus.
I grieve my Lord From day to day
I'm off the straight And narrow way
I ain't gonna grieve my Lord no more,
I ain't gonna grieve my Lord no more,
I ain't gonna grieve my Lord no more.
The chorus is usually sung 3 or 4 times. The song was recorded by early country artists. Bob Dylan covers the song on his Witmark demo.
An Inventory of Spoken Word Audio Recordings in the Vincent Voice Library, Michigan State University, contains a sermon by Aimee Semple McPherson from 1931 in which the choir sings:
"Can you talk about me? Just as much as you please.
I talk about you down on my knees [unclear]
I ain't a-gonna grieve my Lord anymore."
YOU'LL NEVER GET TO HEAVEN
Oh, you'll never get to heaven (Oh, you'll never get to heaven)
On roller skates. (On roller skates.)
You'll roll right by (You'll roll right by)
Those pearly gates. (Those pearly gates.)
Oh, you'll never get to heaven on roller skates.
You'll roll right by those pearly gates.
I ain't a-gonna grieve my Lord no more.
I ain't a-gonna grieve my Lord no more.
I ain't a-gonna grieve my Lord no more.
I ain't a-gonna grieve my Lord no more.
You'll never get to heaven on a rocket ship
'Cause the rocket ship won't make that trip.
You'll never get to heaven with powder and paint
'Cause the Lord don't want you as you ain't.
You'll never get to heaven in a limousine
'Cause the Lord don't sell no gasoline.
You'll never get to heaven in dirty jeans,
'Cos the Lord don't have no washing machines.
You'll never get to heaven on a playtex bra,
'Cos a playtex bra won't stretch that far.
You'll never get to heaven in a rocking chair,
'Cos the Lord He keeps no idlers there.
You'll never get to heaven on a bottle of gin,
'Cos the Lord won't let no drunkards in.
You'll never get to heaven on a bottle of stout,
'Cos the Lord he throws all drunkards out.
You'll never get to heaven if you're newly wed
Cause the Lord ain't got no double bed!
You'll never get to heaven on a ping pong ball
'Cos a ping pong ball is far too small!
You'll never get to Heaven in Grandad's car
'Cos Grandad's car won't get that far!
You'll never get to Heaven with a dog as a pet
'Cos the Lord ain't got no lamp posts yet!
You'll never get to heaven in a jumbo jet
'Cos the Lord ain't got no runways yet!
You'll never get to heaven in a bottle of gin
'Cos the Lord won't let no spirits in!
You'll never get to heaven in a bottle of whisky
'Cos the Lord don't like his angels frisky!
Oh you'll never get to heaven in a baked bean tin
'Cos a baked bean tin 's got baked beans in!
Well you can't get to heaven, in my Dad's' boat,
Cause my Dad's boat won't even float.
Well you can't get to heaven in a limousine,
Cause the Lord don't sell no gasoline.
Well you can't get to heaven on Steven's bike,
Cause you'll get halfway, then you'll have to hike.
Well you can't get to heaven in a Ford Coupe
Cause the angels all drive Chevrolet
Well you can't get to heaven in Wendy's pants,
Cause Wendy's pants are full of ants.
Well you can't get to heaven, on water skis,
Cause the angels don't like hairy knees.
Oh you can't get to heaven in a strapless gown,
'cos a strapless gown might fall right down.
You'll never get to heaven with a fat Girl Guide,
'cos the Pearly gates ain't built that wide.
Oh you can't chew tobacco on the golden shore,
'cos the Lord don't have no cuspidor.
Oh you'll never get to heaven in a biscuit tin
'cos the bottom falls out and the top falls in.
Oh one fine day, and it won't be long,
You'll look for me, and I'll be gone.
Oh, you'll never get to heaven on a pair of skis
'Cause you'll schuss right through St. Peter's knees.
If you should get to heaven before I do,
Just bore a hole and pull me through.
If I should get to heaven before you do,
I'll plug that hole with shavings and glue.
That's all there is, there is no more
St Peter said, as he shut the door
Oh there's one more thing I forgot to tell,
If you don't go to heaven, you'll go to...bed
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