US & Canada Versions: 44A. Hares on the Mountain
[Unfinished page; texts appear mainly at the bottom.]
[US & Canada versions are known under a variety of titles including "If Girls They Were Ducks," "Creeping and Crawling," "Knife in the Window," "The Snoring Maid," "I Ain't Gonna to Do It No More" and "Thunder and Lightning." To my knowledge aside from a version collected by Barry (See BBM), only Horton Barker of Virginia sang the "Hares on the Mountain" title and he may have learned it from a recording (it isn't a local title and probably not a traditional source). According to one informant who sang the text as a parody of The Gosport Tragedy/Pretty Polly, her version was known under the title, "Pretty Polly" (Randolph; Unprintable Ozark Folksongs).
Some versions are comic and typically bawdy, including the related, "Roll Your Leg Over."
R. Matteson Jr. 2012, 2014]
CONTENTS:
1) If Girls They Were Ducks- Knight; Muncie (Illinois) 1907
2)
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The song's popularity in British Isles is well-known and it has been found rarely in the US & Canada. It has become attached to other song choruses and become in turn the bawdy "Creeping and Crawling/The Knife in the Window" and similarly bawdy verses of the once popular college song, "Roll Your Leg Over." According to Dick Greenhaus, "Roll your leg Over was popular during WWII-- I first encountered it in the very early 1940s." The endless number of verses of "Roll" include:
If all the young ladies were bricks in a pile
I'd be a mason and lay them in style.
and...
If all of the girls were fish in the ocean
And I was a wave I would teach them the motion.
The related "Creeping and Crawling" and "Knife in the Window" songs are also known in the US under the floating title, "Pretty Polly." Another US title is "Thunder and Lightning." Most of these songs are missing essential verse qualifier, "If all the girls..." and aren't part of the family but relatives. Here's an excerpt of Asa Martin's version:
CRAWLING AND CREEPING- As performed by Asa Martin 1935
Well, I dreamed last night I went a-crawling and a-creeping (x2)
And I crawled in the room where my baby was sleeping
And I never want to do it again.
There are a few traditional US versions of "Hares on the Mountain" (Horton Barker) which I will track down and post at some point.
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Doren comments, "I have not been able to connect this stanza with any others."
Some Play-Party Songs from Eastern Illinois
by Carl Van Doren
The Journal of American Folklore, Vol. 32, No. 126 (Oct. - Dec., 1919), pp. 486-496
THE following songs, for the most part, by 1900 were no longer current in the section of Vermilion County, Illinois, from which they have been collected, but were remembered, if at all, only by the older members of the community, and by the young people in certain families which had been little touched by a more sophisticated world. They are here given as they were taken down in 1907 from the recitation of Mr. and Mrs. Knight of Muncie, in that county, who remembered them from the day, not long after the Civil War, when they were widely known in the neighborhood, and furnished the music for all
dances or "play-parties."
8. IF GIRLS THEY WERE DUCKS
If girls they were ducks and would swim on the ocean,
The boys would turn drakes and follow the motion.
Sing hi away, he away, he!
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9. ROLL YOUR LEG OVER- Blue Ox Song Book #1 (Timberline Lodge, 1947)
I wish all the girls were like fish in the ocean,
And I were a wave: I would set them in motion.
CHORUS: Oh! Roll your leg over, Oh! Roll your leg over,
Roll your leg over the man in the moon. (after each succeeding verse)
I wish all the girls were like cows in the pasture,
And I were a bull; I would make them run faster,
I wish all the girls were like sheep in the clover,
And I were a ram: I would ram them all over,
I wish all the girls were like little white rabbits,
And I were a buck; I would teach them bad habits.
I wish all the girls were like mares in the stable,
And I were a stallion; both willing and able,
I wish all the girls were like little white vixens
And I were a fox; I would certainly fix !em.
I wish all the girls were like little red chickens,
And I were a rooster: I'd give them the dickens
I wish all the girls were like doe in the glade,
And I were a buck; I would really be made.
I wish all the girls were like sows in the mire,
And I were a boar; I would certainly tire.
I wish all the girls were like Hedy LaMarr,
And I were Clark Gable; I'd get pretty far.
I wish all the girls were like Gypsy Rose Lee,
And I were a G-string; Oh gosh! what I'd seel
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Roll Your Leg Over- sung by Oscar Brand; Source: Brand, Oscar.Bawdy Songs and Backroom Ballads, Vol. 3. Audio Fidelity, 1956.
Click on the song title to play the tune!
Click on the singer/author to read their bio!
If all them young ladies was up for improvement
I'd give them some help with a ball-bearing movement.
(Chorus Below)
Roll your leg over, roll your leg over
Roll your leg over the man in the moon.
If all them young ladies was little white kittens
And I were a tomcat, I'd make 'em new fittins.
(Chorus)
If all them young ladies was B-29s
And I was a fighter, I'd buzz their behinds.
(Chorus)
If all them young ladies was bats in a steeple
And I was a bat, there'd be more bats than people.
(Chorus)
If all them young ladies was wheels on a car
I'd be a piston and I'd go twice as far.
(Chorus)
If all them young ladies was little blind moles
I'd find their burrows, I'd fill in the holes.
(Chorus)
If all them young ladies was mares in a stable
I'd be the groom, mounting all I was able.
(Chorus)
If all them young ladies was diamonds and rubies
I'd be a jeweler and I'd shine up their boobies.
(Chorus)
If all them young ladies was singin' this song
It would be twice as filthy and ten times as long.
(Chorus)
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[From: Unprintable Ozark Folksongs and Folklore: Roll me in your arms, Volume 1 by Vance Randolph
This is a parody of the Gosport Tradgedy/Pretty Polly and the opening lines are almost identical. Both songs include a knife, both have Polly weeping at some point along the way, and both give her an unwanted pregnancy.
A. Pretty Polly- sung by Mrs M.M. Springfield, Missouri August 27, 1938. She stated she learned this in Stone County, Missouri in the middle of 1890s. She said, "Some people call this song 'Pretty Polly.' "
“Pretty Polly, Pretty Polly, oh won’t you come to me,
Pretty Polly, Pretty Polly, oh won’t you come to me,”
“Oh no, my young man, I’m afraid you’ll undo me,
Oh lay your leg over me do.”
Her drawers they was tied and he couldn’t undo ‘em,
Her drawers they was tied, and he couldn’t undo ‘em,
She snorted and cried “Just take your knife to ‘em,
Oh lay your leg over me, do.”
And then they began like lighnin’ and thunder,
And then they began like lightnin’and thunder,
On the green, green grass, with Polly layin’ under,
“Oh lay your leg over me, do.”
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THE SNORING MAID Randolph B
Collected from Mr. C. L. Walnut, in Shade, Missouri March 10, 1941.
When he first heard it in 1899 people called it "The Snoring Maid."
I was out last night a-crawlin' and a-creepin'
I was out last night a-crawlin' and a-creepin'
I was out last night a-crawlin' and a-creepin'
And I spied a fair Maiden a-snorin' and a-sleepin'
Just lay your leg over me, do.
Says I, "My pretty Monarch, I'll come to bed with you."
Says I, "My pretty Monarch, I'll come to bed with you."
Says I, "My pretty Monarch, I'll come to bed with you."
She snored and replied, "Just come to bed with me."
An' lay your leg over me, do.
Your drawers is so tight I cannot undo them,
Your drawers is so tight I cannot undo them,
Your drawers is so tight I cannot undo them,
She snored and replied, "Then take a knife to them."
An' lay your leg over me, do.
I haven't owned a knife since I can remember,
I haven't owned a knife since I can remember,
I haven't owned a knife since I can remember,
She snored and replied, "There's a knife in the winder."
Just lay your leg over me, do.
The knife it was got and the drawers cut under,
The knife it was got and the drawers cut under,
The knife it was got and the drawers cut under,
An' then they went at it like lightnin' and thunder.
Just lay your leg over me, do.
In about nine months the maid fell a weepin',
In about nine months the maid fell a weepin',
In about nine months the maid fell a weepin',
An' then she remembered the snorin' and a-creepin'.
An' lay your leg over me, do.
The baby was born and it was an awful wonder,
The baby was born and it was an awful wonder,
The baby was born and it was an awful wonder,
That it wasn't killed by the lightning and thunder
An' lay your leg over me, do.
In about nine months, Polly went to weepin’
In about nine months, Polly went to weepin’
And then she remembered that crawlin’ and creepin’,
“Oh lay your leg over me do.”
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AIN'T GONNA DO IT NO MORE
Three Tobacco Tags 1931
(Mandolin solo)
I dreamed last night I was crawling and a-creeping,
I dreamed last night I was crawling and a-creeping,
I dreamed last night I was crawling and a-creeping,
And I crept to the room where Mary was sleeping,
But I ain't gonna do it no more.
(Mandolin solo)
I stepped on a tack that was sticking in the floor,
I stepped on a tack that was sticking in the floor,
I stepped on a tack that was sticking in the floor,
And bopped my nose on the knot of the door,
But I ain't gonna do it no more.
(Mandolin solo)
Mary woke up and she called the law,
Mary woke up and she called the law,
Mary woke up and she called the law,
The next stop I made was the city hall,
And I ain't goona do it no more.
(Mandolin solo)
The judge said,"Young man, you need to laugh,
The judge said,"Young man, you need to laugh,
The judge said,"Young man, you need to laugh,
This crawlin' and creepin's gonna be your last,
And you ain't gonna to do it no more."
He gave me nine months for crawling and a-creeping,
He gave me nine months for crawling and a-creeping,
He gave me nine months for crawling and a-creeping,
For creepin' in the room where Mary was sleeping,
But I ain't gonna do it any more.
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Coll. by Max Hunter
Dubbed by M.C. Parler
Mr. Beanie Coleman Eureka Springs, Ark July 15, 1959 Reel 352, Item 6
Roll Your Leg Over
If all the young ladies were little white rabbits,
I'd be a hare and teach them bad habits.
Refrain: Roll your leg over, roll your leg over,
Roll your leg over the man in the moon.
If all the young ladies were . . a-growin'
I'd take my scythe and start in to mowin'
Refrain
If all the young ladies were fish in the ocean,
I'd be a shark and start a commotion. Refrain
If all them young ladies were sheep in the clover,
I'd be a ram and I'd ram them all aver. Refrain.
If all the young ladies were little white vixens,
I'd be a fox and I'd chase and I'd fix 'em. Refrain.
If all the young ladies were bricks in a pile,
I'd be a plucker and have me a time.* Refrain.
If all the young ladies were bells in a tower,
I'd be a sexton and bang on the hour. Refrain.
If all the young ladies were bricks in the pile,
I'd be a mason and lay them in style. Refrain.
There're some who would hide 'em, conceal 'em and bind 'em,
But heaven forbid 'em the kid who would find 'em. Refrain.
*The last line belongs to another verse which Beanie sang for Max in 1959:
If all them young ladles were grapes on the vine,
I'd be a pluck and I'd have me a time.