II. 5. WHOPPERS
[The popular version of The Ram of Darby is the variant Didn't He Ramble]
CONTENTS: II. 5. Whoppers
Billy Barlow
The Crooked Gun
The Ram of Darby
The Lady Who Loved a Swine
Toll-a-Winker
The Marrowbone Itch
Old Blue
Wunst I Had an Old Gray Mare
Hog Rogues on the Harricane
Cod Liver Ile
Tom Boly
II. 5. WHOPPERS
Away out yonder in Arizony
Where it ain't rained since Noah
And it's so dry you have to prime yourself to spit,
And it's so dry the grass widows can't take root,
Thar's a wonderful forest whar the trees is a-growin'
Jest the same as they did centuries and centuries ago.
But a-a-all pewtrified, ladies and gentlemen,
A-a-all pewtrified.
And the roots of them thar trees is a-growin' way down in the ground,
A-spreadin' out and a-takin' holt on the dirt,
Jest the same as they did centuries and centuries ago—
But a-a-all pewtrified, ladies and gentlemen, all pewtrified.
And the branches of them thar trees is a-growin' full of twigs and leaves and birds' nests,
Jest the same as they did centuries and centuries ago;
And fly in' around them thar branches and through the pewtrified air Is a number of pine hens,
Sand-hill cranes,
White-necked ravens,
And yellow-headed blackbirds,
All a-singiny their beautiful songs jest as they did centuries and centuries ago,
But a-a-all pewtrified, ladies and gentlemen,
A-a-all pewtrified.
Now when I give a lecture on Arizony up to Boston last week and told this interestin' scientific fact,
Some unbelievin' miscreant sings out,
"What about the law of gravitation?"
And I sings out right back at him,
aSeems to me that anybody with the sense of a coyote'd know that away out there in Arizony
This here new law of gravitation hain't worked for centuries and centuries,
But is like everything else aout there—
A-a-all fewtrifiedy ladies and gentlemen,
Completely pewtrified."
—Contributed by John A. Lomax, Jr.
BILLY BARLOW
d. No. 740B2. Ace. on guitar and sung by Bud Wiley, Zweiful Ranch, Fort Spunky, Texas, 1935.
1 "Let's go hunting" says Risky Rob, "Let's go huntin'," says Robin to Bob, "Let's go hunting" says Dan'l and Joe, "Let's go huntin'," says Billy Barlow.
2 "What shall I hunt?" says Risky Rob, etc. "Hunt for a rat," says Billy Barlow.
3 "How shall I get him?" says Risky Rob, etc. "Go borry a gun," says Billy Barlow.
4 "How shall I haul him?" says Risky Rob, etc. "Go borry a cart," says Billy Barlow.
5 "How shall we divide him?53 says Risky Rob, etc. "How shall we divide him?" says Billy Barlow.
6 "HI take shoulder," says Risky Rob, "HI take side,53 says Robin to Bob, "HI take ham,33 says Dan3l and Joe, "Tail bone mine,33 says Billy Barlow.
7 "How shall we cook him?33 says Risky Rob, etc. "How shall we cook him?33 says Billy Barlow.
8 "HI broil shoulder,33 says Risky Rob, "HI fry side,33 says Robin to Bob, "HI boil ham,33 says Dan3l and Joe, "Tail bone raw,33 says Billy Barlow.
THE CROOKED GUN
b. No. 1301. Tune and some stanzas, Mrs. Minnie Floyd, Murrells Inlet, S.C., 1937. Other stanzas from Barbara Bell, Minneapolis* Minn. See Sh, 2:217.
Social Songs
i One pleasant summer morning it came a storm of snow, 1 picked up my old gun and a-hunting I did go. I came across a herd of deer and I trailed them through the snow, 1 trailed them to the mountains where straight up they did go.
2 1 went up yonder river that ran up yonder hill,
And there I spied a herd of deer, and in it they did dwell; Soon as the buck they saw me, like devils they did run To the bottom of the river and squat upon the ground.
3 Then I went under water, five hundred feet or more. I fired off my pistols, like cannons they did roar.
I fired away among the buck, at length I killed one ; The rest stuck up their brustles, and at me they did come.
4 Their horns being in full velvet, as high as Egypt's mass, And they did through my body like streaks of lightning pass.
When they had thus quite riddled me that bulldogs might run through, I being so enraged then, my naked sword I drew.
5 I fought them with my broadsword, six hours 1 held them play, I killed three hundred and fifty, and the rest they ran away.
I gathered up my venison, and out of waters went;
To seek and kill all those that fled, it was my whole intent.
6 Just as I stood a-gazing, the sun came rolling by;
I gathered up my venison, jumped on as he drew nigh.
He carried me all 'round this world, all 'round the swelling tide;
The stars they brought my venison, and so merrily I did ride.
7 Just as the sun was going down, he gave a sudden twirl, And I could hold on no longer, so I fell in another world, As Providence provided, I fell upon the moon,
And in the course of a day or so he brought me safe at home.
8 I gathered up my money for venison and for skin; I carried it into my barn, it wouldn't half go in.
The rest I gave unto the poor, bright guineas out of hand. Now don't you think that I can live a noble gentleman?
THE RAM OF DARBY
d. No. 2358. Tune, John Norman, Munising, Mich., 1938. Text, Pete Harris, Richmond, Texasj Jesse Harris, Livingston, Ala.; Mrs. Minnie Floyd, Murrells Inlet, S.C. j Mrs. Minta Morgan, Bells, Texas. See Hu, p. 273$ Sh, 1:184$ Ga.2, p. 460J PTFLS, No. 5, p. 1575 Be, p. 224, also DidnH He Ramble—Will Handy (sheet music). W. C. Handy says this is an arrangement of a current folk song.
i As I went down to Darby-town All on the market day, I saw the biggest ram, sir, That ever fed on hay.
Chorus:
Didn't he ramble?
He did ramble,
He did ramble till those butchers cut >im down.
2 This ram was fat behind, sir. This ram was fat before, This ram was ten rod high, sir, (I'm sure he was no more).
3 This ram did have four feet, sir, And on them he did stand, And every hoof he had, sir,
It covered an acre of land.
4 The horns upon this ram, sir, They grew so very high
That every time he would rattle them They would rattle against the sky.
5 The wool upon this ram's back It grew so mighty high,
The eagles built their nests there And the young ones dast not fly.
6 Oh, the wool that's on this ram, sir, Was dragging on the ground. They took it to the weaver
And it weighed five thousand pound.
7 The wool growed on this ram's belly, It growed so short and thick,
It caused the girls in Darby A season for to pick.
8 The hair growed on this ram's sides, It grew so long and thin,
It caused the girls in Darby A season for to spin.
9 Oh, this ram he had two horns, sir, They reached up to the moon,
A man went up in January And never got down till June.
10 The ram had a hollow jaw tooth Held sixty bushels of corn.
The man he took the hollow jaw tooth For to make him a biowinJ horn.
11 That ram he had long, long hair Reached way down to the ground, The devil stole a strand of hair And made his wife a gown.
12 The ram he had a great long tail Reached way down to hell. Every time he wagged the tail He rang that hotel bell
13 This ram he had two horns, sir, And they were made of brass, One come out of po5 oP head
And the other come out of his yup se doo-la lolly.
14 The man that butchered this ram Was a-scairt of his life.
He sent to Philadelphy
And got him a four-foot knife.
15 The man that butchered this ram, sir, Got drownded in the blood,
The man that held the basin Got washed away in the flood.
16 The blood did run twenty-four mile, sir, (I'm sure it was no more).
It turned an overshot mill, sir, That never was turned before.
17 His head was in the meat market, His tail was in the street,
All the ladies come along
Says, "Here's your market meat."
18 Took all the boys in our town To roll away his bones. Took all the girls in our town
To roll away his yup se doo-la lolly.
19 The man who owned this ram Was considered very rich,
Or the man who told this story
Was a lyin* son of a yup se doo-la lolly.
THE LADY WHO LOVED A SWINE
/t>. No, 2590. Mrs. K. B. Jones, Houston, Texas, spring, 1939.
1 There was a lady loved a swine. "Honey," said she,
"Pig hog, wilt thou be mine?" "Humph!" said he.
2 "I'll build thee a silver sty, Honey," said she,
"And in it thou shalt lie." "Humph!" said he.
3 "HI pin it with a silver pin, "Honey," said she,
"That thou may'st go out and in." "Humph!" said he.
4 "Wilt thou have me now?" said she. "Honey/5 said she. "Speak or my heart will break." "Humph!" said he.
TOLL-A-WINKER
/'. No. 64. Gant family, Austin, Texas, 1934. See Hu, p. 275; JAFL, 4:269.
i When I was a little boy as fat as I could roll, {whistle) When I was a little boy as fat as I could roll. They put me on a boxcar, and there we had a show. Toll-a-winker, toll-a-winker, tum-tolly-aye.
2 Long come Johnny and he passed me by, {whistle) Long come Johnny and he passed me by,
His feet on the ground and his head in the sky. Toll-a-winker, toll-a-winker, tum-tolly-aye.
3 He bantered me for wrestle and I hopped, jumped, and run, {whistle) He bantered me for wrestle and I hopped, jumped, and run,
Beat him at his game and shot him with a gun. Toll-a-winker, toll-a-winker, tum-tolly-aye.
4 Grabbed him by his feet and slung his head down, {whistle) Grabbed him by his feet and slung his head down,
Gave him such a sling till I slung him over town. Toll-a-winker, toll-a-winker, tum-toily-aye.
5 The people all around saw the deed I done, {whistle) The people all around saw the deed I done,
They sentenced me to ten thousand ton. Toll-a-winker, toll-a-winker, tum-tolly-aye.
6 Had a little dog his name is Don, {whistle) Had a little dog his name is Don,
His legs went to feet and his body went to tongue. Toll-a-winker, toll-a-winker, tum-tolly-aye.
7 Have a little box about three feet square, {whistle) Have a little box about three feet square,
When I go to travel I put him under there. Toll-a-winker, toll-a-winker, tum-tolly-aye.
8 When I go to travel I travel like an ox, {whistle) When I go to travel I travel like an ox,
And in my vest pocket I carry that box. Toll-a-winker, toll-a-winker, tum-tolly-aye.
9 Had a little hen her color was fair, {whistle) Had a little hen her color was fair,
Sat her on a bomb and she hatched me a hare. Toll-a-winker, toll-a-winker, tum-tolly-aye.
io The hare turned a horse about six foot high, {whistle) The hare turned a horse about six foot high, If a man beats this he'll have to tell a lie. Toll-a-winker, toll-a-winker, tum-tolly-aye.
THE MARROWBONE ITCH*
e. No. 1427. Ace. on guitar by Farmer Collett, sung by Mike Brock, Middle Fork, Leslie County, Ky., 1937.
"My mother used to say that head lice, bedbugs, and the seven-year itch were not a disgrace to have, but a disgrace to keef"
1 Look out, boys, better wash your hands, Joe's got the itch and don't give a damn, That Marrowbone itch is a-kiilin' me.
Chorus:
That Marrowbone itch, it's a sight; You have to scratch it day and night.
2 There's poor old Eph, he's a-looking mighty blue, He's got the itch and Roberta have too. That Marrowbone itch is a-killin' me.
^ Pronounced "Mar'bone eetch."
3 When you take the itch, your hands do crack, Judy has got it and so has Jack.
That Marrowbone itch is a-killin3 me,
4 When you go to Spruce Pine, better take you a cob, Billy's got the itch and so has Bob.
That Marrowbone itch is a-killinJ me.
Shouted:
Killin5 me too, boys!
5 Itch is a-leavin' the Marrowbone Valley, Hiram's got it and so has Sally.
That Marrowbone itch is a-killinJ me.
OLD BLUE
aK No. 671. Ace. on guitar and sung- by Carl Roberts, Zweiful Ranch, Fort Spunky, Texas, 1935. Other stanzas from Hu, p. 201. See also Whi, p, 207.
I I raised a dog and his name was Blue, And I betcha five dollars he's a good one, too.
Chorus 1:
Saying, "Come on, Blue, boo-hoo."
2 Shouldered my ax and I tooted my horn, Gonna get me a possum in the new ground corn.
Chorus i:
Saying, aCome on. Blue, boo-hoo."
3 Old Blue treed, I went to see,
There sat the possum on a ?simmon tree. {Chorus i.)
4 That possum dumb down on a swingin5 limb.
Blue barked at the possum, possum growled at him. {Chorus jr.)
5 He grinned at me, I looked at him,
I shook him out, Blue took him in. {Chorus z.)
6 Got that possum and I put him in a sack,
Next thing I knew I had him on my back. {Chorus i.)
7 Baked that possum good and brown,
And I lays them sweet potatoes round and round.
Chorus 2:
Saying, "Come on, Blue, you kin have some, too."
8 "Blue, what makes your eyes so red?"
"Fve run them possums till Pm almost dead." {Chorus 2.)
9 When old Blue died, he died so hard That he shook the ground in my back yard.
Chorus 3 ;
Saying, "Go on, Blue, Pm comin5, too."
10 Old Blue died, I laid him in the shade,
I dug his grave with a silver spade. {Chorus 3.)
11 I let him down with a golden chain,
Link by link slipped through my hand. {Chorus 3.)
12 There is only one thing that bothers my mind, Blue went to heaven, left me behind. {Chorus 3.)
13 When I get there, first thing Pll do,
Grab me a horn and blow for old Blue. {Chorus 3.)
WUNST I HAD AN OLD GRAY MARE
a to h. No. 1483. Ella Sibert, Horse Creek, Clay County, Ky., 1937. See Sh, 2:326.
i Wunst I had an old gray mare, (2)
And her back wore out and her belly bare.
Chorus:
Taddle diddle dink dink, taddle diddle day 3 Taddle diddle dink dink, taddle diddle day.
2 Then I turned her down the creek, Purpose of a little green grass to eat.
3 Then I took her darned old tracks,
And I found her in a mudhole flat of her back.
4 Then I feelding very stout,
Took her by the tail and I hoist her out.
5 Then I thought it was no sin,
I hoist up my knife and I skinned her skin.
6 Then 1 put it in some moose5 Purpose of to make my winters shoes.
7 Then I hung it in the loft3
'Long come a rogue and stoled it off.
8 Darn the rogue that stoled it off 5 Left my toes all out to the frost.
HOG ROGUES ON THE HARRICANE
eb. No. 1517. Theophilus G. Hoskins, Hyden, Ky., 1937.
"This is Tom Hardy and Lishe Morgan's hog song. There was some hog rogues down the river here, and they was accused of stealing hogs} and old Tom Morgany he made that song. It was on some of our people, and he was our people y too; but he made the song. Some of them wanted to kill him over it} and some of them saidy 'Let him go} he's all right* said} 'He's a purty good feller' I learned that when I was about five years old, and I'm fifty-eight now. That's been about fifty-three years ago} I guess."
i Oh, concerning of some gentlemen who lived down below, They follered hog-stealin' wherever they did go. Oh, sometimes they had bacon, and sometimes none. They mounted on their horses, and they shouldered up their guns.
2 Straightway to the Harricane,* straightway they did steer, To skeer up the wild hogs and run out the deer.
Oh, when they got there they listened awhile, Looking at each other, beginning to smile.
3 They said, "It's the old spotted sow and the blue listed boar, The very same hogs we fought t here before."
Oh, the old spotted creature was a-lying in her bed, She heard every word the damned villyans said.
4 Oh, the old spotted sow made a leap for to run, She soon was stopped by the cracking of a gun.
They blew for old Trimble Foot very loud and shrill, He overtook the boar at the foot of the hill.
5 If you don't believe me, they're guilty of a heap, They stole nine head of Wash Morgan's sheep. You remember last Wednesday before,
From old Billy Sachs took a half a dozen more.
6 Oh, trouble and vexation wherever you may be, Trouble and vexation wherever you shall see.
Oh, the whips begin to crack and the pigs begin to squeal, Up come Bob and Stokes a-walking on their heels.
* Harricane or Hurricane Creek, Leslie County, Kentucky, f Pronounced to rhyme with "spout."
COD LIVER ILE
eb. No. 1770. Ace. on guitar and sung by Burl Ives, New York City, 1938. See Gr, p. 316.
1 Fm a young married man that is tired in life. Ten years Fve been wed to a sickly wife ; She does nothing all day but sit down and cry, A-wishing to God that she could die.
2 A friend of me own came to see me one day And said that me wife was a-fadin' away.
He afterwards told me that she would get strong If I got her a bottle from Doctor Dearjohn.
3 I bought her one bottle, 'twas just for to try,
And the way that she drank it you'd swear she was dry; I bought her another which vanished the same. Till I think she's got cod liver ile on the brain.
Chorus:
"Oh, doctor, oh, doctor, oh, dear Doctor John, Your cod liver ile is so pure and so strong I'm afraid to me life I'll go down in the sile If me wife don't quit drinking your cod liver ile."
4 She likes it so much that there is no doubt Me wife she got fat and terrible stout,
And when she got stout, of course, she got strong, And then I got jealous of Doctor Dearjohn. (Chorus.)
5 Me house it resembles a big doctors shop With bottles and bottles and bottles on top? And then in the morning when the kettle does bile HI swear it be singing of cod liver ile. (Chorus,)
TOM BOLYN
/. No. 1438. Eliza Pace, Hyden, Ky., 1937. Other stanzas from Fl.i, p. 177. See also Sh3 2:202 j for exhaustive discussion, Ga.i, 2115 Be, p. 501.
1 Tom Bolyn was Scotchman born.
His shoes wore out and his stockings were torn. The calf of his leg come down to his shin. "I'm a hell of a fellow," says Tom Bolyn.
2 Tom Bolyn had no boots to wear,
He bought him a goatskin to make him a pair, The woolly side out and the skinny side in. "Cool in the summer," says Tom Bolyn.
3 Tom Bolyn bought him an old gray mare, Her sides was sore, her feets was bare; Away he went through thick and thin. "Pm going a-courting," says Tom Bolyn.
4 He rode over to a Dutchman's hall, There he got down amongst them all— "Come in, come in, I bid you come in." aPve come here a-courting," says Tom Bolyn.
5 "Come in, come in, you welcome guest,
Take which of my daughters that you like best.55 "I'll take one for love and the other for kin, I'll marry them both," says Tom Bolyn.
6 After the wedding we must have a dinner 3 They had nothing to eat that was fit for a sinner, Neither fish, flesh, food, nor no such a thing— "It's a hell of a dinner/3 said Tom Bolyn.
7 And after the dinner, we must have a bed 3 The floor it was swept and the straw it was spread 3 The blankets was short and besides very thin, "Stick close to my back," said Tom Bolyn.
8 But his wife's mother said the very next day, "You will have to get another place to stay— I can't lie awake and hear you snore;
You can't stay in my house any more."
9 Tom Bolyn got into a hollow tree, And very contented seemed to be$ The wind did blow and the rain beat in. "This is better than no house," said Tom Bolyn.
10 Tom Bolyn, his wife and wife's mother, They all went over the bridge together, The bridge it broke, they all went in, "First to the bottom," said Tom Bolyn.
* * *
"A man staked his old bell cow in the fasture. A full-grown mosquito came along and et the cowy then started ringing the bell for the calf."