Irish Washerwoman- Lane County Bachelor
Source O'Bryant, Folksongs & Ballads (in Koch, Kansas Folklore)
THE LANE COUNTY BACHELOR
[Sung to the tune of "The Irish Washerwoman," with a different chorus for each stanza, this song was very popular among
the pioneers. Certainly it was not a song that took their minds
off their troubles; there is almost more truth than fiction in
its humor. Two versions are presented here; for interesting var-
iants see Vance Randolph, Ozark Folksongs (Columbia: The
State Historical Society of Missouri, 1946-50) , II, 190-191, and
Carl Sandburg, The American Songbag (New York: Harcourt,
Brace and Co., 1927), pp. 120-123.]
A: The Lane County Bachelor
[This version of the song was given to Forsyth Library, Fort
Hays Kansas State College, by Mr. and Mrs. Ed Kepner, Dighton,
Kansas, in April, 1933. According to Mr. and Mrs. Kepner, the
manuscript is in the handwriting of Frank Baker, composer of
the lyric]
Frank Baker's my name and a bachelor I am,
I'm keeping old batch on an elegant plan.
You'll find me out west in the county of Lane,
I'm starving to death on a government claim.
My house it is built of the natural soil,
The walls are erected according to Hoyle.
The roof has no pitch but is level and plain,
And I always get wet when it happens to rain.
Hurrah for Lane County, the land of the free,
The home of the grasshopper, bed bug and flea
I'll sing loud its praises and tell of its fame,
While starving to death on a government claim.
My clothes they are ragged, my language is rough,
My bread is case-hardened both solid and tough.
The dough is scattered all over the room,
And the floor it gets scared at the sight of a broom.
My dishes are scattered all over the bed,
They are covered with sorghum and Government bread.
Still I have a good time and live at my ease
On common sop-sorghum, old bacon and grease.
Then come to Lane County, here is a home for you all,
Where the winds never cease and the rains never fall,
And the sun never sets but will always remain
Till it burns you all up on a Government claim.
Till it burns you all up on a government claim.
How happy I feel when I crawl into bed,
And a rattlesnake rattles a tune at my head.
And the gay little centipede, void of all fear,
Crawls over my neck and down into my ear.
And the little bed bugs so cheerful and bright,
They keep me a-laughing two-thirds of the night.
And the gay little flea with sharp tacks in his toes,
Plays "Why don't you catch me" all over my nose.
Hurrah for Lane County, hurrah for the west,
Where farmers and laborers are ever at rest.
For there's nothing to do but to sweetly remain
And starve like a man on a Government claim.
How happy am I on my government claim,
For I've nothing to lose nor I've nothing to gain.
I've nothing to eat and I've nothing to wear,
And nothing from nothing is honest and fair.
Oh, it is here I am solid and here I will stay,
For my money is all gone and I can't get away.
There is nothing that makes a man hard and profane,
Like starving to death on a Government claim.
Hurrah for Lane County, where blizzards arise,
Where the winds never cease and the flea never dies.
Come join in the chorus and sing of its fame,
You poor hungry hoboes that's starved on the claim.
No, don't get discouraged, you poor hungry men,
For we are all here as free as a pig in a pen.
Just stick to your homestead and battle the fleas
And look to your Maker to send you a breeze.
Now all you claim holders I hope you will stay
And chew your hardtack till you are toothless and grey.
But as for myself I'll no longer remain
And starve like a dog on a Government claim.
Farewell to Lane County, farewell to the west,
I'll travel back East to the girl I love best.
I'll stop in Topeka and get me a wife,
And there shall I stay the rest of my life.
B: The Lane County Bachelor
[Raymond Tillotson, Shields, Kansas, found this version of the
song among the papers of his father, a pioneer settler of Lane
County. It was written in pencil. S. J. Sackett comments: "Three
features point to its being written down from someone else's
rendition, rather than copied from a text or set down from the
elder Mr. Tillotson's own knowledge: the manuscript ignores
line divisions; it uses abbreviations such as one might use when
jotting down something someone else was giving ('Co of Lane,'
'Gov Bred') ; and the phonetic nature of the spelling occasion-
ally betrays a word heard but not understood ('cattered,'
'Sieses') . There are also a few gaps in the song, which may in-
dicate that the copier could not keep up with his source as the
song was given orally. It is tempting to believe that the elder
Mr. Tillotson may have set the song down as he heard it from
the lips of Frank Baker himself."]
Frank Baker is My Name a Bachelor
I am I'm Keeping Old Bach
on an elegant plan
You'll find me out west in the Co of Lane
A' Starving to death on a goverment clame
Huraw for Lane Co the home of the Free the home
of the grasshopper, bed bug & Flea
My clothe they are ragged
My language is rough My
Bread is cast harden both
Solid and tough the dough is
cattered all over the room
the floor would scare at the
sight of a Broom
the dishes are scattered all
over the bed all covered with
Sorgam & Gov Bred
Then its come to Lane Co there
room for you all where
the Wind Never Sieses & rain
Never falls and Sun Never
Sets But will all ways remain
& Burn us all out on our Gov clame
How happy am I on my Gov
clame, for there is Nothing to
loose and Nothing to gain
Nothing to eat and Nothing to ware
& Nothing for Nothing is honest & fair
Huraw for Lane Co Huraw for the
west where the Farmers & labors
are ever at rest for there
is Nothing to do but swettly remain
And Starve like a man on
a goverment clame
Now all those good people
I hope they will staye &
chew there hard tack till they
Are toothless and gray
But as for My Self I'l Nolonger
remain and starve like a dog
on a gov clame
I'm going to leave the
West & travel back east to the
girl I love best I'll stop
in Topeka and get Me a
wife & there shall I stay the rest of my life